Grace should be my middle name.

Location: United States

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

"But I Want And Oompa Loompa NOW!"

Call it wanting to have my cake and eat it too.

Call it a Veruca Salt moment.

But sometimes I just want to stamp my foot and whine. Like tonight, when I drove happily to my fine foods grocery store so pick up a 6-pack to celebrate a bonus, a 4-day weekend and a 12-hour working day. I stood in the beer section feeling very let down by the lack of Shiner Bock. How can they play with my emotions like this?! Have it one day, not have it the next, but promise that they're getting a shipment in on Tuesday. But not having it on Wednesday when I NEED it!

Unfortunately, pushing your cart back and forth down the aisle doesn't make it appear. I really think that it should.

Sometimes I want to stamp my foot and cry for green shoes in a store full of black, brown, red and pink.

Sometimes I want a discontinued Cajun Chicken Salad at Friday's and I just want to shake my fist at the waiter. They used to have it. I could count on it. Always. And all of a sudden, they rip it off their menu. When I think that I patronized a Fridays in Austria (or was it Paris?) just for the Cajun Chicken Salad, it makes me ANGRY.

This can happen with people too and is as infuriating. All those good intentions and almost-but-not-quites don't mean jack.

It's not fair. It really just isn't. But that's how it is. The Shiner situation toyed with my emotions. I got my heart set on it and then it wasn't accessible.

Like the times I searched high and low for the Crunchy Cheesy Gordita at Taco Bell. Did I ever tell you about the search for The Crunch Cheesy Gordita? NO?! Well, it clearly illustrates my point.

Now, I have had a problem with Taco Bell for a long time. Especially since experiencing the wonders of Taco Cabana, I just couldn't bring myself, or my stomach, to deal with a second rate taco establishment. But one day, Eleanor saw the commercial for The Crunchy Cheesy Gordita and thought we should try it. Now, Eleanor is just as opposed to Taco Bell as I am, but she is a connoiseur of sorts of Mexican food, being from San Antonio. She doesn't settle for sub par Mexican food. She won't even hear of Don Pablos. She knows what's up. So when Eleanor says "Let's try The Crunch Cheesy Gordita!" I'm totally with her.

She and I went through the drive through and each ordered one. We got home, ate our respective gorditas, looked at each other and both said, "I need another!" So we got directly back in her car, and went through the drive through again. The guy at the window looked at us like we were crazy. But those gorditas were like manna from heaven in a town where the only respectable food sold is BBQ or fried chicken.

A week later, we were lusting after the Crunchy Cheesy Gordita. But to our dismay, they weren't "doing" Crunchy Cheesy Gorditas" anymore..."But could I interest you in a Ranchero Chicken Supreme?" No. Hell no. Are you kidding me?!

From the next year or so, it became a hunt for the elusive Crunchy Cheesy Gordita. Some cities seem to carry them all year round. Other cities, only a month in the Spring. So much inconsistency! Who would have known that Taco Bells do not have universal menus? It seemed this highly incorrect heirarchy. Some towns wtih, and some towns without. So unfair! Almost as unfair as Six Flags letting people pay twenty bucks to cut everyone else in line for the best rollercoasters. But that is whole other issue.

The Crunchy Cheesy Gordita situation was making me hostile, so I brought my concern to my roommate's boyfriend, who was once an employee of Taco Bell. He said, "Grace, don't ever, ever, ever eat at Taco Bell."

"But, Chris", I said, "I love The Crunchy Cheesy Gordita."

Then he asked me, "So when they don't have it and they ask you if you would like something else, do you take it?"

Well, ah...yeah...

"THEY'RE getting to YOU! You're letting them WIN!" he exclaimed and then proceeded to tell me all sorts of things about vats of uncooked meat and raw eggs. He told me enough to concern me. But not to deter me the next time I was home to hunt out my desire, which was one week later.

That week, I took my chances on a Taco Bell. Sure enough, when I ordered, they had it! Except they only accepted CASH! "WTF?!" I thought, where am I anyway, a CAVE?" So I thought of what Chris had told me and wouldn't let them talk me into some other sort of gordita. But instead, I went looking for an ATM and returned to the Taco Bell, to wait in a 30 minute line to get my Crunchy Cheesy Gordita. But I waited. And I even got two. And those two made my stomach feel like SHIT. And I have never wanted a Crunchy Cheesy Gordita since. I'm not sure what was worse, the stomach ache, or the knowledge that i had wasted so much time and effort on The Crunchy Cheesy Gordita. But those times when I wanted a Crunchy Cheesy Gordita, I just HAD to have one. And when I couldn't get one, it drove me to drinking...or at least, drove me crazy.

What about when you must, must, must have that pair of shoes. But you have a size 9 and they have sizes 8 1/2 and 9 1/2, but no 9. Or they have it in every color, except green and you desperately need green. I mean, the least they could to is have nothing even remotely close to what you want. But the fact that they have it in every color but the very one you need, just is tantalizing.

Or what about when you go all the way down to Key West and Dominique the Cat Man has the week off!? You walk back and forth saying, "I KNOW HE'S HERE. Maybe he'll come out later. Where is Dominique?" He's there 49 weeks out of the year. But the weekend you are, he's not.

That's how it works sometimes. But you know, a brown pair of shoes, when what you need is green, just doesn't help. Sometimes a Ranchero Chicken Supreme just won't do when you need a Crunchy Chicken Gordita. Like the song says, "You can't alwasy get what you want." The closer it is to being what you want, but missing that important ingredient, the harder it is. Apparently a sword swallower doesn't replace Dominique in Key West for me either. But friends who dance with pirates might.

Sometimes you push too hard, you go get that cash and buy two gorditas and then end up feeling sick. Sometimes you push too hard, special order the shoes in and they end up hurting your feet. Sometimes all your best intentions fall through and you end up NOT getting what you want, even though it was extraordinarily close. But at least you didn't get a stomach ache, right?


Blogger Earnest said...

I LOVE your blogg!!!!! you're the best...i used to like taco bell chalupas... you're best blogger ever, gracy

1:28 AM  
Blogger Grace said...

Post has been edited with more fun info...

10:05 AM  
Blogger Einstein said...

i've had a veronica salt week. it blew and just kept on blowing until i didn't think it could get any worse but then i woke up this morning and it did get worse. a lot worse but more on that later. . . but i'll at least say physics boys annoy me. you would think they could possibly act their age. and why oh why can't they ever take responsibility for their own actions and they assine comments they make. grow up boysbe a man. be a man.

1:56 PM  

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