Grace should be my middle name.

Location: United States

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Part 1: Meeting, Roommates, SYRD

This is the first installment of my spotlight on Al. At the time of this interview, she had just gotten her bangs cut, inspired by yours truly. She was rather upset about the new do.

G: Tell me about the circumstances of our meeting.

A: Well, we were visiting the college we would one day attend in February of 1998. We were in the auditorium and you looked like a lost puppy. "Mouseman" (who was an admission counceller) introduced us because you got there late. The whole weekend you seemed really lost and disoriented.

G: I was! I didn't know I was going until 4am that morning when my mom woke me up! Then a few hours later, I was in TEXAS! You were really helpful and really nice.

A: I'm such a nice person. I'm looking at myself in the mirror with bangs - it's horrifying. I look like a carpet took over my head! LISTEN, I will terminate this conversation if you include shit like that!

G: Ok, Ok...let's get back to the story. Do you remember a certain phone call?

A: I remember, you were like, "Uh...Hi..Um...I'm Grace" and I totally knew who you were because I had your phone number.

G: I don't think you had my phone number.

A: No, I totally had your phone number.

G: I don't think so, because I called up Mouseman to get yours. I could only remember you were from South Carolina and I actually thought you name was Charlotte. I guess it's a good thing that you were like the only one in our class from South Carolina. And that those admissions councellors give out phone numbers.

A: Yeah, you had just decided that you were going to go to school out there and so you were calling to see if I wanted to room with you. You totally decided to go there because of me.

G: Ah, no, Al...I made that joke up first. Once I called you, you were totally sold on the idea of going to that school. I mean, to have the honor of being MY roommate? Who would turn THAT down?!

A: Just because you called me first?! Now you're twisting the story!

G: Well, we're not going to get to the bottom of thise here. So let's move on. Tell me some things about being Grace's roommate.

A: I remember being completely shocked the first day when you let out a huge burp. You were in general a pretty nice girl. It was a lot of fun. There are a lot of good stories, especially from freshman year. There's the crawfish story. OH! But my favorite is the blueberry costume! It was pouring raining outside and we were getting ready for class. It was pretty early and we were going to walk up together. I had an umbrella and you probably couldn't find yours or something. So you pulled out this rain poncho and took it out of the case. It was BRIGHT blue. Then you put it on and it was larger than life and the bluest thing I've ever seen. You put it on and looked at me.

G: I believe you're exact words were, "You've GOT to be kidding me!"

A: And I think you're response was, "But my dad bought it for me." Thankfully, you took it off and I loaned you an umbrella. You didn't wear it.

G: The best thing about that story is that I actually took that poncho to Rome with me a year later. I'm not sure why. But I did. And it ended up being the inspiration for the best Halloween costume I've ever had, at least in the creative sense. I stuffed myself, wore it and painted my face blue with eye shadow. I was Violet Bauregard from Willie Wonka. Only, like only 2 people figured out who I was. And then only like 2 others actually thought it was funny. Dude, that was a GREAT costume. "Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!" Come on, that's GREAT! My humor was lost on those people. I should have won an award. But I'm digressing. Let's move on to junior year and the Screw Your Roommate Dance.

A: Oh! That is a really DAMN good story! I guess I can sort of take credit for setting you and TS Elliot up. You know, even though it didn't work out in the long run. So, a certain someone had a crush on another newspaper editor. He was shorter than her, therefore, in my opinion - off limits! But you continued in your childish, lustful and rash crush. I think you must have instigated the whole thing because you had a crush on him and thought it wouldn't be a bad idea for the SYRD. So I went and talked to his roommate to set the whole thing up. At first it was totally on. But then, his roommate got back to me and said TS was going out of town that weekend. So I had to let you down. I think El and I actually had someone else in mind for you to go with after that. But I can't remember.

G: I remember all of the roommates agreeing that we were going to NOT set each other up after that. Everything had sort of fallen through and we were going to make other plans.

A: Yes, but then the roommate approached me and said that TS wasn't going out of town anymore and that you could procede in the set up. I was pumped because I had totally wanted to surprise you and you would have NO idea that you were actually going to get set up with him. All day, I was all bubbly and excited. I thought, "I'm going to screw her!" I wanted to torture you because it would be fun to see you squirm. And damn, you got really nervous. I think you almost had a breakdown!

G: Yeah, I was pretty unglued about the whole thing.

A: I walked into the apartment and told you that you were going with somebody and you started whining as usual. And I said, "You have's a set'll thank me."

G: All I remember you saying is, "Well, Grace, it's not the best situation. But it's good. You'll have a nice time. And you have to LOOK GOOD!" I thought that was strange: "It's not the best situation"...however I was instructed to "look GOOD." Something seemed fishy, but I never caught on.

A: Yeah, well, it got really annoying because you were asking me constantly that entire week.

G: Yeah, I even went through the yearbook, I couldn't imagine WHO you would set me up with and it freaked the hell out of me.

A: You were the most annoying roommate I ever had at that point.

G: Thanks. I was probably just as annoying to the others. I bugged everyone! I was sort of wierded out because it was a Halloween Dance and you said he didn't want to dress up. I was like, "That's stupid, what a bore." And then I said I was OK with the whole thing, as long as we just went to the dance and I didn't have to sit through dinner, which I was positive would be weird and awkward. But the day of the dance, you were like, "Guess what, Grace, you're going to dinner!"

A: Yeah, baby, that was great. You were SO tortured! That night you got all ready and took our advice and looked damn good. We made sure. We're sitting on the couch...waiting...and you were fidgeting. You fidget a lot...but this was like 12 times more than normal. You were like, "Just tell me please!"

G: Oh, I was whining up until the last minute. I remember saying, "OH PLEASE! I'll know in 10 minutes, just tell me NOW!!!"

A: Yes, then there was a knock at the door...but it wasn't him...then there was another knock and we all screamed and you GROANED and slouched into the couch. I couldn't wait to see your reaction. You were so nervous. I wonder why we didn't get you any alcohol.

G: Yes, I remember that GROAN coming forth from my was agony. I wonder about the alcohol...hmmm...

A: But that second knock was my sister. But the third time was the charm. I opened the door, but I looked at you because I wanted to see the look on your face. You looked and you were like, "Is this my date?" Ah yeah! It was totally worth you bugging me all week long about it. You seemed really confused.

G: Yes, again, confused and disoriented. It was a nice time and not awkward. It was fun and I guess it was start of sorts to that relationship, even though it didn't totally spark things up.

A: I'm glad about it. I ended up getting Krispy Kreame doughnuts out of him for the next 2 years. Dude, he brought them every week. He understood how to pay his dues for dating my roommate. He learned well. I deserved those doughnuts for being the 3rd wheel all the time. Our college experience wouldn't have been the same without him.

G: True that.


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